LEAVING YESTERDAY
Wenyao

There are some things in life we have no control over, and that's what destiny is.
Sunday, September 2, 2012, 4:22:00 PM
Decision

We all want to end up with the best decision made. We all want to make the right move. But what is right? What is wrong?

Everything had been a illusion. What if I said all the while, I'd been lying to myself? I have no idea.

Everything seemed to be fine till yesterday. When I met them. Tons of flashback crossed my mind. I have no idea why and how it happened.

I am sick of playing games at home. As in I am really sick of it, but I can't think of anything else to do to spend my attention at. Honestly, I don't really like hacking monsters and trying to complete quests anymore. But at least when I am doing such things, I don't think about other things.

It is like shutting out the rest of the world and just trying to live your life your way. Its like what they say that you are trying to run away from this competitive world, and trying to cower yourself into life of your pace.

Sometimes we make decisions when we are not in the right frame of mind. I mean out of rage, happiness, sadness, whatever. Then in the end, we look back. Sometimes we regret, sometimes we got lucky. But other times, what really happens?

Avoiding can solve a lot of problems, or rather they prevent the creation of new problems. That can be a way to solve FUTURE problems. But current? I have no idea. Who can help me?

I have no idea. I ain't really opening myself to others. I always have this feeling that I am not in good shape. Not only physically, but also in terms of networth and other factors.

 I am not as strong as what I seem I am. A lot of times, I just put on a strong front. Just because that will ease pressure on my ego. Excuses, reasons, facts.

I have a problematic shoulder, now my left leg is also coming up with mysterious problems time to time. Maybe this is what they call ageing. I have no idea.

Things need to start to change. That's what I always say. But I always procrastinate.

Fear? Perhaps. I admit that. Suddenly, I am afraid that such changes will actually make things worse. I used to like to fight with others. But now I can't even attempt to look for challenges.

I can write for another donkey years. But its not gonna be today.

Sometimes I pray that the next day will be better.

But all I do is pray.

P.S. What goes around comes around.