LEAVING YESTERDAY
Wenyao

There are some things in life we have no control over, and that's what destiny is.
Monday, February 6, 2012, 9:03:00 AM
Life

7 months into audit. What have I gained? What had I lost?

Honestly, audit gave me a very strong foothold in accounting. Accounting was about memorizing journal entries till these days when you can't do that anymore.

But. But. But. Audit also took away a lot more. During July, I was on my way to my lean and good body. Then work kicked in. I thought I could handle everything together, work, diet, studies, social. I thought I was better than many others. Come to think of it, I am so naive.

Audit did give me some money. Though I often complain that I earn so measly when comparing with hourly salaries.

I did have met some cool people in audit. Which also made me realize the fact when it is meant to be. It will.

It's like flipping a coin. No matter how hard you wish that it ends up with a head, you have a fair chance to get it.

If it is going to be the side that you want, no matter how hard you pray , or try to tell yourself it will work out if you work hard enough. Some people just get it the way it is. I mean, come on, it is not like I've not tried hard enough.

Jeryl, Eleen, Elyn. I had some good times working with them. I know I'd fucked up on chambers and caused Elyn to clear it for me. I mean I'm sorry. There is so much that I can do. And I admit that I'm selfish. I can't allow EY to screw my life further. Sorry for all the time you have spent to teach me things. I mean those time you invested didn't pay off. And I think I really really know how it feels like. I feel bad about it. But oh well.

I don't want to look back 5 years from now, and think, wtf had I been doing in the past few months?

My mum told me this morning that life is fair. I told her: fair? Come on, that's a myth.

Hey, I worked hard, for everything that I wanted. I sacrificed a lot. I gave up a lot. In the end? Look at me now. You get a pile of shit.

At the age of 24, what have I earned? Yes. My bank. And it's not a lot anyways. Other than that? Nothing. Tomorrow is valentines day. I don't even want to talk about it.

Friends? Oh ya. They forget about you once you don't turn up in some events. So. In the end, what have you really gained? I don't know. I see myself in such a big pile of mess that I don't know how to start rectifying it.

I need advice. But who is there to give me any? My mum and dad sees me as a person whom gives up easily now. But they don't see my point to get a life. I mean. W.T.F.

p.s. I should have seen that coming. I already read the signs.