LEAVING YESTERDAY
Wenyao
There are some things in life we have no control over, and that's what destiny is.
Saturday, February 25, 2012, 12:35:00 PM
从不称相似，到朋友。你是一個好女仔，就算不是我都当你是。 或者我有点老套， 想同你表白又不知如何好。如果有得發展我一定會， 但你却只当我是姐妹。
我们究竟现在是怎么了。说复杂又不复杂，说简单又不是。 走街看戏我们都试过， 但就未到拍拖的地步。总要拉我去同你试衣， 你根本没有當过我是个男人。这种感受真的很难忍 ，你有男朋友难道我说不准吗？
这几天我都不想写在这，那时我不想你继续来到这里。我不知道我几时才会继续我的路，但是我知道我应该会慢慢适应。
I don't know what lies ahead for me, but I know that you won't be in it. I had come in terms that there are somethings in the world that you won't have no matter how hard you try. But somehow you still float in my mind. I deleted all kinds of contact or ways that remind me of you from everywhere that I can think of, but..
Quitting my last job, I want to say that yes, I didn't like that long working hours. But I would like to also admit that you did play a part, or rather a big part. I could never had admitted that as part of the reason. I had to find a way out. I don't know how but I know I must.
I know that by writing this post, I probably have gotten a lot over. But I don't know, perhaps this way is the best solution for me. I need to find a new job soon, looking at my bank, it has only been depleting.
I also must admit that I left EY in rage. I mean I was rushing towards the departure. But I mean, if it is wrong to begin with, stop. Yeah, maybe that's also the case between you and me.
I have a lot of things to tell you, but since that night I met you there, you gave me all the answers.
Been crash dieting a lot lately, I know it is bad for my health, but I also know if I don't go into extreme solutions, I will never get it going. Lessons, you know it is kind of weird to go to lessons now. I don't really want to mix around with the EY gang anymore, but if I go classes and don't hang with them, it is weirder. Guess I will just study on my own.
Everything is in a mess now, but I learnt that if I don't do anything about it, nothing will miraculously be untangled. We need to solve this part by part. The situation won't change overnight. It won't be I wake up and suddenly everything is great now.
I died a lot in the inside when I left EY. Probably because of all the promises I had made to myself. I told myself to really grind the next few years and probably catch up in the race. But somehow I gave up, many reasons, you included, but I don't really want to go into it right now.
I know I am not a borned accountant, but all I really wanted was a steady pay check to survive in this harsh society. Maybe someday I will look back and regret on all these stupid decisions that I had made. I mean, not like I don't already know that money makes the world go round.
When I resigned, I told myself to make this worth it. I must have a very fulfilling life since I literally gave up a potential high salary career path for it. But it is not happening.
I know things have to change, it is barely a few weeks, but somehow a lot of me wanted to find something fruitful to do.
p.s. One change won't turn the whole tide around, but it all starts with ONE change.