LEAVING YESTERDAY
Wenyao

There are some things in life we have no control over, and that's what destiny is.
Saturday, June 18, 2011, 11:12:00 AM
Hostile

Life didn't get better. It got worse I suppose. Woke up to a senseless quarrel with my mum. Over? Breakfast. I wanted to eat eggs, but she insisted that I eat bacon with bread. Seriously, anyone have any idea how hard I am trying to lose weight? And you still tell me to eat something that defeats my purpose? I got so angry that I slammed my door behind me. Gosh. Things are not turning out well I suppose.

Staying at home is a good idea, until you realise you are not one of those who can stick around and do nothing. Well I don't know what else to do anyways.

I am only human, there's that much that I can conquer. I thought I could do whatever it takes. But in reality, I do get tired and lethargic. Every morning I tell myself that I have to do this, I have to do that. I get my schedules carefully set up. But in the end, how often had I really followed them?

I have no idea.

Yeah, I have very high expectations of myself. Which in turn means I will have very high expectations of the people around me. So when things don't turn out to be what I expect. I get very disappointed. I know I am not significant enough to change anything. But what else can I do?

I used to think that living in my own world is sufficient, until people tell me of the outside world. There is so much more better people out there. And I am here trying to convince myself that I'm actually good enough. Seriously, I am better off fucking myself.

Well, I suppose this is it. There are many other things for me to concentrate on other than you. People tell me that I shouldn't give up without a fight. But I can tell you that I don't want to fight a losing battle. I had lost enough time.

Maybe I wasn't persistent enough, or maybe I didn't have to patience. Maybe if I held long enough, things might change. Or rather they will change for the better. Whether a not it will work, I don't know.

I am going into a very important phrase of my life where I will have no time. Thus, I suppose I shouldn't waste her time too. I wish for her happiness and smiles.

I am sorry that I'd to go, but it is better off for us anyways.

p.s. If I try harder, will I change?