I really appreciate how these people spent their time trying to listen to my pains and nonsenses. Not a lot of people do that. Some just take you as a medium. But it was today that made me differentiate the people around me.

I guess I'd pass. I do too many things on impulse. I want to change. But I need to know how to. I keep telling myself that I need to slow down. But, my actions proved otherwise.

After so much time spent to improve myself, it was not enough. Well, you can say that it is never enough. Who is perfect?

I am starting to see my limits. I am starting to see how far one person, or rather, me, can go. I am only human, its only reasonable for me to have weaknesses.

What is my next step? I suppose I'll just wait.

I kind of gave up on this. I couldn't find another reason to fight in this war anymore.

Like what people always say, if you have tried hard enough, maybe it is time to let go. Well, I think I will resign to fate. I learnt many lessons. I am not being inferior or something, but we all need to know where we stand in this cruel world. I think I don't really match her I suppose.

Don't hope, then you won't be disappointed. So true, if you take it as what it is, you probably won't feel the pain that much.

One thing I need to change. I need to be more decisive. I need to make a stand. I need to think critically at crucial times. But I need to know how to improve on these. I shall focus on these from now on.

I need to utilise my brains. I do have a rather big one though. I hope one day, people will stop looking at me with that look. One fine day, I will stand up. I will be different. I will have my own say.

And I really wish that day will be nearer each day.