LEAVING YESTERDAY
Wenyao
There are some things in life we have no control over, and that's what destiny is.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011, 10:25:00 PM
Awakened
Two years passed so quickly, so long since I ever wrote on this platform. And yet, that day seemed so near.
Life had been so-so. Many incidents happened, even more lessons learnt. This time, I will write again. But of course, of a different purpose and different thinking. I used to write to address people and such. However, I write now just to keep track of my thoughts and my days.
I'll not publicize this blog, however, I'll just put the link onto my Facebook. Feel free to read or contact me.
I am working now. Oh, maybe not now, its 10.30pm. So, I have work tomorrow at Shriro. Its a MNC dealing with distribution of goods from Ricola, Lindt into Singapore. Accounts Receivable Accountant, sounds good. Plenty to learn and everyday is another challenge for me.
Thats all for what am currently doing.
Finally waking up, this 3 years of nightmare are almost done. Not many people knew what I was going through. I guess these 3 years weren't easy for me. Nightmare not totally because of the people, but because of me. At the age of 24, I'm like a rotten pile of garbage. People of my age have so much more achievements and accomplishments, but I'm like so far behind. I thought I could play catch up, I thought I could. But in reality, things wasn't easy.
For three years, every night I had to try to sleep with those discouraging thoughts. Everyday, I had to deal with people, thinking of all the possibilities, thinking of all the outcomes. On top of that, I still had to study. Finances were another limiting factor...
But, its over. Now that I'm waiting for graduation, that felt good. Another thing is that I got accepted into Ernst and Young as a Audit Associate. Thats about it, I wish all this positive turnings are good twists into my life.
Someone once told me this: if you ever take up your hobby as your profession/occupation, you will realise you will not longer enjoy/like it as before. So true, but what does this imply? That means you can be envious over all the people with their 'perfect' job, but I can tell you, they are not enjoying that like how you enjoy your soccer game or baking.
Another reason is that, work gives you stress. And with stress from this occupation, you will no longer like it as though you treat it like a hobby. The carefree feeling will be gone and then slowly, but surely, your hobby will turn into your job, something that you will be numb of.
Friends, these are the people that kept me going. Sometimes, I get really tired of contributing and sacrificing. But all I know is, if I stop contributing, people will forget about me. And when that snowballs in the long run, I'll be alone. And that's what kept me going on, the fear of being alone.
I need attention at times, but who is there? I thought I had it, but come to think of it, I was deceiving myself. Sometimes I just wanna give up, but fate always gave me the tiny bit of energy to stand up and try again.
The problem is not with you, its WITHOUT you.
Life is meaningless at times. I'm like a walking zombie walking around without faith and belief. All I do are the good things that were told to me. Work, work out, run, read, socialise.. Sometimes I really don't know what I really like..