LEAVING YESTERDAY
Wenyao
There are some things in life we have no control over, and that's what destiny is.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009, 11:30:00 PM
Melancholy
Doubtful Day
Got back FACC paper. Disastrous. I would say I could have got like 3 grades higher if I had not been so complacent in the test. For 6 tutorials, I did not know that workings were being credited with points. I always thought we start with Income Statement. Seriously, I was stunned when I received my paper. I remembered i got the ending balance, which means i could not be that far off from the actual answer key.
On the way back home, I kept thinking. Why? Why did things turn out this way? Every time something occurs, I need to do after-action-review. Okay, I would say the fault has to lie with me. Since there was no other factors that could be included. What went wrong? I thought I was well-prepared for the paper. I did tutorial 6 4 times, it was not that far off from what the teacher meant by sufficient practice. I could do the paper, I indeed got the 4.1 million ending balance. What i lack was the knowledge or exposure to the marking scheme. Well, you can say that this is luck. And I can also conclude that this is life, accept it. But I know this is true, but not entirely true. I knew in my heart that complacency did play a part. I started revision on the last week. Before that? It was clubs, nights out, DotA and pretty much of meaningless stuff.
During the start of the last week, I couldn't kick start my revision for MST. My mind was not ready for academic stuff. This is where the problem was, I spend like 4 days trying to get back the momentum. By then, I do not have sufficient time to completely revise. In this instance, I did not have enough time to figure out the marking scheme. If I had started earlier, I would perhaps have gone to see the FACC teacher and he might have in return told me about the workings being credited with points.
Of course, you can say that this is just my luck. Even if you start earlier, the teacher also might not have noticed about my incomplete answer. But, let me tell you, it mattered. In terms of probability, by having minimum amount of time to prepare for my exams, the probability of me getting to know my incomplete answer is definitely higher than that of me having more time preparing. In this way, although many people might think it does not matter, it actually did. In simpler term, when I have only 1 day to study for FACC, i won't have the luxury of time to actually see the teacher. Thus, probability of me getting to know this in completion is near zero. However, if i had started my revision earlier and such, I would have the luxury of time to see the teacher. In turn, certainly increasing the probability of me knowing the in completion to above zero percent.
Well, all I can conclude now is that: This is Life, take it and move on.
Secondly, I need to seriously think about my thinking about certain issues in my life now. The way i market myself need to be changed. If there are 10 people out there, chances are that 3/10 are the ones i want to be with. I would say that in order to be with one of the three, tons of effort is required and even so, results are not guaranteed. This does not mean that I would kick these 3 out of the picture and look for the rest.
I should not compromise this for the mere reason of difficulty. For the past, I always thought i could depend on the rest of the 10. However, time past. And I indeed realise what I really want. I don't actually want the rest. And one more issue is who you normally being with. Lets say A has a lot of girlfriend experiences in the past, he takes relationships lightly and thought that the more he had, the more superior he was. One fine day, A met Z, someone who changed his life. Z changed A's mentality and Z was everything for A. However, Z is a quiet girl and not that outgoing. Here comes a problem. Z would not accept A. This is because A has a poor history of having a huge number of relationships. A has a very big problem now. I would say all is gone in this situation. Lesson learnt: the need to plan for the future is indeed important.
All the fun you have now is momentarily, they would not last. I would not want to be in A shoes. Neither should I have any similarities to his behaviour. Anyway, I am not refering to anyone in my current class.
Lastly, I would need to remind myself that I am not longer young. In my speech or writing, I need to be more mature. Not to only scrape the surface in the dialogues, but to go in depth of what people really need or want to talk about.
Certainly, I can type like A H0M0 FuCk1n9 T33nAger, or trying to be funny with those 'lol' 'rofl' 'leh' 'lah' 'loh'. Are those totally necessary? I am no longer 16 years old, I need to change. Only when I start to be serious, will then people not scrape the surface with me.
As we age, we do not gain intelligence. All we gain is wisdom, in which we could use it to actually enhance our given intelligence in a better or more efficient way. All I have been writing here is not some great essay or fantasic speech, but things that I have grown out of and being through.