LEAVING YESTERDAY
Wenyao

There are some things in life we have no control over, and that's what destiny is.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009, 9:17:00 PM
One Day This World Got To End

Cloudy Day


Results are not what im gonna talk abt today.. whats over is over..


i was on the bus today when i thought.. everything has an ending.. it doesnt matter if its a happy or sad one.. things just have to end.. so.. will this world come to an end? lets say if 1 day, everything ends.. what will i feel? regret? certainly.. any other? maybe ill hate myself for doing all those stupid things..


if what im fighting for now is my future, what if theres no future? in the current society, everyone is struggling to beat the highscore.. everyone is sacrificing all they could to gain power and authority... is that all what people really want? lets put it in simpler terms, lets say u undergo 7 years of training to become a qualified accountant.. on the 6th year, the world decided that accountants are no longer needed in the current world.. so.. what should these people do? die? suicide? depopulation occurs?


so, if people should not work hard for their future.. what do they work hard for? the present? thats bullshit.. this doesnt make sense, does it? with this ever changing world, sometimes i wonder if we really strive for something..


i hate myself.. today i saw Huiyun on MRT, well.. still remember those days when we did bio lab together.. i didnt go over and say hi.. i didnt have the courage to.. im afraid that she might act that she doesnt know me.. or perhaps.. i juz didnt want to spoil her day.. she once told me to work hard.. but i didnt heed her advice.. stupid me.. regret now..


i lost control of myself, my life and everything.. i wish i was never brought into this place.. why? not like i have not thought of suicide in the past.. but.. its too selfish.. juz for my own freedom, i have sacrificed my parents, sis feelings.. i still strongly believe in euthanasia for people who wants it.. whats the point of living a loser life? losing in everything.. allowing everyone to beat you? filling into the left side of the bell-curve? think again.. if u have a chance to restart earlier.. will you? i will.. but the price to pay is too high.. i cant just think for myself..


well.. there are a few people that i have to thank: LayShan, Ivy, Rujun, Andrew.. they waiting with me till the wee hours of today morning.. well.. i really appreciate it and.. Thanks..