LEAVING YESTERDAY
Wenyao
There are some things in life we have no control over, and that's what destiny is.
Thursday, March 26, 2009, 9:24:00 PM
False Hopes
Rain Day
just when i thought my life had a twist, i was fooled.. it was just a false pretense given by heaven.. why? why did you do this to me? the past few days was just a buffer.. things didnt change for the better.. why didnt they??? happiness is so short-lived and life is going back to where it stopped..
i was thinking about myself on the way to work.. so whats wrong? what do i need to do? what didnt i do? what did i do wrong? things didnt turn out to be what i want.. why? i am not trying to control things that are not within my grasp.. but. just simple things.. maybe its just me.. or maybe its retribution..
work was just another waste of my time.. i sat there waiting for time to pass and money to fall.. is this what i want? is this what i really aim for? can i make better use of this time? Jenise was on leave today.. i had only myself to be with for this long and torturous day.. work couldnt be harder so, thats not the point.. how hard is to do simple stuff like call people, page for people???
work ended at 5pm.. as i walk towards the gate, rain drops fell diagonally.. i was struck momentarily.. i didnt wanna take the bus home.. i want the rain to wake me up.. i walked in the rain till i reach home.. in the midst of the journey, i keep asking myself.. whats wrong? what didnt i do correctly? why am i like this? what could i have done better?
read some blogs today.. saw some pics posted by kim.. well.. i didnt know i look that fat.. perhaps i was just living in my own world.. i am not what i think i am.. sometimes i wonder if all that i do is really worth it.. is it? can someone answer me?
anyway, for those reading this.. i am not an attention seeker.. i am not expecting anyone to reply to this nor talk to me about this.. i also dont like to talk to others about these.. so yeah.. once again, if you wanna read, go ahead. dont probe me for anything from this blog.. this is just a place for me to write out what i feel about myself and things i would really want myself to know..