LEAVING YESTERDAY
Wenyao

There are some things in life we have no control over, and that's what destiny is.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009, 10:43:00 PM
Another Disappointment

Exam Day


today is first day of my exams.. took CRS and MOB. nothing special. normal papers and have some common careless mistakes.. well.. nothing much to mention on those..


hmm, this month i tried.. i tried very hard.. to do something.. i dont know what i've done wrong.. i didnt do what i think i should? i don't know.. someone tell me whats wrong with me pls.. stop telling me i lack of confidence.. thats bullshit.. i am quite sure thats not whats wrong with me. everything i do is flawed.. thus i believe i should stop doing all nonsensical shit. am i thinking too much? maybe, maybe not.


of all the times i tell myself that i aint useless, im lying to myself. i tried to tell myself i can do this i can do that. but, those aint really important stuff in life.. i haven completed anything worth talking about. my life sucks? theoretically, yes. or rather i believe that i suck.. i am not aiming to be someone great. i just want to be someone whom anyone can depend on. that hard? give people sense of security while being with me.. impossible? i dont know.. people tend to a distance from me.. i dont fucking know why.. im scary? im ugly? im stupid? maybe.. probably..


sick of those 'lol' replies and those entertaining responses from people.. cant i really find someone to talk to? someone who understands me? man, whats so hard? this world has only 1 loser Chang Wen Yao??? dammit. i thought i found the person at first, but after a while, things didnt turn out to what i want it to be..


been to really a few gatherings these few weeks, fun? fun only if i didnt know what they were thinking of me. everything was so fictious.. i thought they had fun.. and it remained with 'Thought'. after a while, you will somehow realise, you are different. you are a loser for fuck sake. the G A P is there for some fucking reason. go to a bbq and they talk about Mazda 8, Imperial College, working life. and what can i say? Hi, im Wenyao. A loser still in SP doing a fuck shit Diploma in Accountancy in Singapore Poly.. omfg, i can seriously fuck off.. get it dude? people earning big bucks, getting their education prestiege. im doing? lol.. studying so hard for a Diploma.. HAR HAR. so funny hor.. people dont understand..


tried all i could, couldnt fill in the gap. gave up trying anyways.. all i really hope now is my pu-bor friend dont stab me in my friends.. i hope i still have them as my support.. my life is falling apart. i dont know why.. everyone seem to be so good in their own aspect.


enough of ranting and whining. im so going back to the fucking big econs book/notes and mug for my stupid exam due in a few days.. WAY TO GO! WENYAO. HAR HAR..
[for anyone who cant stand my language as above, u can kindly leave. i dont need people to read this.. if u wanna read, by all means. ;)]