LEAVING YESTERDAY
Wenyao

There are some things in life we have no control over, and that's what destiny is.
Monday, February 16, 2009, 10:49:00 PM
Adrenaline Rush

Sad Day


econs day.. went to sch early to study.. reached around 9.30am at biz lib.. found a quiet spot and mug a bit.. sucks.. i think my paper cui liao.. haiz.. dun wan think about it anymore.. few more days to holidays.. i dont feel happy or excited thinking about it.. i dont know why.. perhaps i have some holiday phobia.. alone at home sucks.. maybe imma find a job.. know more people.. but now the economy like shit, dunno can find part-time for 1 1/2 months a not. sian..


thought over some shit on my way back.. i think andy is right.. i should stop thinking about how i should do it.. i shouldnt even consider doing that.. come to think of it, i sacrificed a lot for that friendship.. time/ effort even money.. worth it? i conclude: no. i think i will stop bah.. i have done too much.. i dont know what i am to them.. to me, they are 'friends'. to them? a joke? someone to do something for them? using their luck to see whether i can do shit? i dont know..


andy was quite right on something.. all the time i have spent, did anything turn out? No. juz a simple qn: did they come out and have a simple dinner like what we doing now? har har.. maybe he is right.. i was juz a tool.. something of use.. i dont know what i lack.. i dunno why the gap is there.. maybe its something which is meant to be like that.. i tried v hard to close the gap.. but unless the other party also does that.. its impossible.. like that ppl say.. 1 hand how to clap?


i really appreciate what my friends did for me.. esp Andy, Jiahua, Kaijit, Jisin.. they pulled me thru real hard times.. they didnt despise me even tho i am so useless.. for that, im glad.. at least i have some people to turn to.. i gave up trying.. its pointless..
i think imma go back to my old self.. i wanna be someone i am comfortable with.. so.. i think.. its over..


another thing.. i really useless.. on 14 feb.. my mum ask me in the morning.. WENYAO AR, U NEED ROSE A NOT? I KNOW WHERE GOT LOBANG.. U WAN I BUY FOR YOU.. kns.. den i say: no lah.. tonight i at home dinner.. u know what reply? its: WHOA, U SO USELESS AR? U KNOW TODAY WAD DAY A NOT? WHERE GOT PPL STAY AT HOME DINNER ONE? NOT ENOUGH MONEY AR? haiz.. good game.. even my mum say i cui liao.. but kinda think of it, im not looking for one either =X .. i believe in the age gap, i dont understand how people of 4-5 years age difference can survive together..


last thing, today on the way back, i go do pull up again.. CUI liao.. now only can do 10.. haiz.. i think i need to work on it again bah.. used to do so many de.. now left with 10.. cui cui cui.. i wonder next time i get bike liao.. 6 also maybe cannot ar.. must start running liao... lol.. anyone wanna run on wed? prolly around evening! hahax..