LEAVING YESTERDAY
Wenyao

There are some things in life we have no control over, and that's what destiny is.
Sunday, September 7, 2008, 10:02:00 PM
Blame the Blamed..

Cloudy Day

Sat at home whole day coz i did not need to work.. Did nothing much to talk about. Felt like i wasted the whole day.. Watched 'Never Back Down' on my computer.. its a fighting show.. and i felt that there are many lessons to learn from it.. theres a line in the movie that said : I will fight to prevent future fights. Well.. will i fight? can i? i aint sure.. lost my sense of fighting spirit long ago.. i used to be such a confident person.. until that day.. I lost that fight.. but will i fight again??? i aint sure about it.. ppl keep say wake up wake up.. i am trying but u think its so easy to stand up after a high fall? Confidence is what i lack.. and i dunno how to get it back.. i tried to make myself a better person, but i dun feel that i am improving.. thats the discouraging part..

Everyday when i wake up, i will tell myself that its a new day, so i must learn new things.. but i dunno what to do... how to go about doing it.. i dunno.. i began by reading some books today..


Somethings set me thinking today, the word : blame.. When problems happen, humans tend to find someone to blame.. is that correct?? it might sound wrong.. whats the point of blaming when theres a problem?? shouldnt we use the time/ effort to find a solution to the problem? its like now your exams cui, should u juz find someone to blame so that u can feel better? blame the teacher? blame the exam paper? it dont sound right.. we should actually go and find out why u cui at ur exams instead of who is at fault. solve problems instead of creating more..


A quote that i have seen: Intellectuals Solves Problems, Geniuses Prevent Them. I agree leh.. nowadays everyone also study study study.. for what? so that we can solve problems.. i think this is a wrong concept loh.. even exam papers are problem based..


come to think of it, what if there aint no problems??? if people are so damn clever that they dun create faulty lifts, explosive handphones.. den got problem meh? no problem everyone happy what.. dunno bah.. maybe i juz think too much


I realise i dont live my life my way.. my life issnt in control by myself.. i juz didnt do what i want to do.. my life is being altered by the society, the world.. i dun like accountancy.. but why did i take it? coz its easier to find a stable job if i studied accountancy.. was it my choice? nope, lets juz say marine engineering has a gd job history, i might have taken it instead. think of it.. are u in charge of your life? if u want to do something, will anything change ur mind?


i talked to her yesterday.. well.. i realise the pain is still there.. dont know when the pain will go away.. it felt like an icicle juz stabbed into my heart.. shattered.. broken.. i realise that there hasnt been a smile from my heart for so long... all those fake smiles and laughs.. i had enough.. enough is enough...