LEAVING YESTERDAY
Wenyao

There are some things in life we have no control over, and that's what destiny is.
Saturday, August 30, 2008, 10:48:00 PM
Tired Of Being All Alone

Rainy Day
Today 3rd day as a accounts assistant. quite a bad work day for me. went to my ulu workplace early as usual. damn far but i wont elaborate on that. Saturday leh, where got ppl work de? bo bian ar, lady boss say today must come.. and ya, she say yesterday need to wear formal everyday, den she tell me today that for sat dun nid wear until so formal.. wth.. den i am only one in the office that wore long sleeve shirt.. fk ni lah.. make me look like cock. ppl all wore jeans and T-shirt, wa lao.. dun say ler..


then, that imba daniel today made himself look so bad.. he keep saying i do this do that.. wa lao u work so long, i 2 days u wan same standard. dun say me la.. i think albert einstein also cannot.. keep guai lan me until i cannot take it.. hey i older den him loh.. i think its his first job.. so kan jiong for everything.. wth.. i new to the system leh.. do thing must systematic wad.. he say must multi task.. wth.. later wrong i kena scolding from lady boss leh, not him leh.. wadever la.. anyway i am supposed to take over him.. i dunno how the hell am i gonna do it.. he seems to be know everything.. but he got so long de experience leh.. nvm i slowly learn.. the key is learn, not succeed. if i go there knowing everything, den no pt ler mah.. today cui to the max lah, i ask my colleague, Earlene, for lunch together.. den she say she got plans outside with her friends..not like i nvr tio reject before.. but hais... den bo bian loh.. 1 person go emo at some ulu kopitiam again..


come to think of it, ya lah.. who wans to go out with a cui guy?? hais.. i juz wan make friends. but i realise, makin friends is 2 side de.. not say i want den will have friend de.. ppl also must want leh.. if ppl refuse to get closer, u do until got dragon got phoneix also no pt.. so the question is why ppl refuse to get closer?? the answer v simple one: coz u cui, everything also cannot make it. looks cannot make it, brains also cannot make it.. its like if know u also like no use.. den why waste the time??? ya loh.. its a fact leh.. its like u ask me find a blangah construction worker to be friend.. of course i say waste time lah.. same principle i think..


today work 1/2 day only, after that i went imm.. lady boss say need wear formal. i have only 2 set.. no choice but to buy.. sian, haven earn money use money again.. i hate this feeling.. walk walk walk.. also nothing catch my eye.. maybe buy those cheap de bah.. buy expensive ones later xia suay.. wear exp shirt also cui.. i as well wear some cheap clothing.. in the end nvr buy lah.. juz window shopping.. see ppl loh.. maybe tml go jurong point buy ba..
today go shopping that time see so many couples walk together. i not jealous, but i juz think that these ppl are very fortunate.. hais.. 35 days ler.. today when i was eatting.. i thought of something.. its a maths thing with reference to relationships.. the gist of it is: in a relationship, cannot 1 person say wan den will got result, must both have the same feeling den can.. ok it goes like that


if only 1 side work:

(a+b)^2 = a^2 + 2ab + b^2
(a+b)(a+b) = a^2 + 2ab + b^2
aa + ba + ab + bb = a^2 + 2ab + b^2
a^2 + 2ab + b^2 = a^2 + 2ab + b^2

in maths, this will work lah.. but i realise in real life situations, cannot de.. this method cui..

the correct way of both side work (i guess):

(a+b)^2 = a^2 + 2ab + b^2
(a+b)(a+b) = aa + ab + ba + bb
aa + ba + ab + bb = aa + ab +ba +bb

ya.. i guess so bah.. if dun understand can ask me.. i try to explain..

35 days have past.. still like that.. 1 phrase ba:

shoot a bullet into my head ; out comes her name..

dunno why.. cried b4, but it doesnt help.. i watch tv see ppl drink, i also go drink.. also cannot..
hais.. dunno bah..

i lost myself in these 35 days
i lost my sense of wrong and right

that day, that moment at bugis, is still spinning vividly in my mind. her words still humming in ears. somethings cannot be explained. even a technical subject like maths have got instances that cant be explained at times.

I hope I wont have to continue counting tomorrow..